Justice
by TheGirlWhoRemembers
Summary: 'I think Su would say there's a justice to it all.' One night, not long after the War, two very different Ravenclaws discuss what has happened, and try to make sense of it the best they can. Lisa Turpin and Anthony Goldstein never really spoke at Hogwarts, but war changes everything...


AN: This is set in the same universe as _Lessons, If Three's a Crowd, Those of Wit and Learning, Split, For Your Consideration, Reversing Causality _and possibly _No Such Thing As an Ordinary Day. _However, no knowledge of those stories is necessary.

I'm also finishing up a story that will be set after this, titled _What Could Have Been_, which will detail the lives of the Ravenclaws of the Class of 1998 in a world where the War happened, and one when it didn't.

* * *

'I think Su would say that there's a justice to it all.'

Anthony looked up from his Muggle Studies textbook. (A proper Muggle Studies textbook, not one full of the rubbish that they'd had to learn not months ago.)

'Pardon? Justice to what?'

Lisa swallowed, placing her roll of parchment down on Anthony's hospital bed.

'Who died and who lived.'

Anthony put down his book.

'Um...are you sure you want to talk about this? Your N.E.W.T.s are tomorrow and...um, well, it wouldn't be good if you had...well, um... another breakdown.'

'I've _got_ to, Anthony. I can't try and avoid it forever.'

'Err...well, if you're sure.'

She nodded.

'I think...I think Su would say, if she was still here, that in war, everyone has to make a sacrifice. Everyone's sacrifice is the same size, but we make it in different ways. So you, Padma, Terry and Michael survived the War because you sacrificed so much that whole year, so by the time it came to the Battle, you weren't required to sacrifice much more. But Su and Morag hadn't done much all year, and so when the Battle came, they had to make the ultimate sacrifice...and as for me, well, I couldn't even bring myself to fight...and so, my sacrifice is that I have to spend the rest of my life living with what I didn't do.'

Anthony shifted uncomfortably.

'It's...it's not that fair, Lisa. It...it can't be that fair. Look at Kevin, for example. He already had to flee his home and leave his family. Did he have to come back and die, too? And he's not the only Muggleborn who died fighting. What about Luca? Or Alice? Was it fair for them to die?'

Lisa bit her lip.

The two Ravenclaw Muggleborns in the year below them had been the cutest couple of Ravenclaw Tower. In times that seemed a lifetime away, she used to giggle and fawn over them.

Anthony continued, his usual awkwardness gone.

'Or even little Colin Creevey. He wasn't even of age. If it is fair that only those who have lived life should die, then why was the Great Hall floor covered with the bodies of Sixth Years, or even of any students? Is it even fair that only the older should die? I don't find my grandparents' deaths fair, old as they were. And if it's fair that only those who didn't sacrifice, stand up, earlier should die, then why were Professor Lupin and his wife killed? And why have I lost half a leg, why was Lavender Brown torn half-apart, and why does Ernie Macmillan have a permanent limp?'

She had no answer.

'Nothing is fair in war, Lisa. _Nothing._ There's no justice to it, no pattern, none at all. No one should have died. No one should have been hurt. But they did die, they were hurt. It's all terribly cruel, but I...I think we have to learn to live with it.'

Lisa nodded slowly.

'I know, Anthony, but...'

'You know I'm no good with emotions and other stuff like that...but when Terry and Pad came to visit yesterday, he told me that you're feeling guilty...since there's no fairness in war, there's not going to be any divine punishment, or societal punishment, or anything for you not fighting. The only punishment you're going to get is going to come from yourself.'

'I hate feeling like I did nothing.'

'If I learnt anything at all in this past year, it's that everyone contributes what they can. You can't ask the same of everyone.'

'But I-'

'-You didn't join them, you didn't become one of them, you never supported them.'

They sat in silence for a while.

Lisa broke it.

'You're...you're right, Anthony. But I need time, I need time to heal and get over it and deal with it all. Maybe after a few months, or a year or two, or maybe a few years, I'll be better. Maybe I'll go away for a while, after my N.E.W.T.s. I know they've got a couple of vacancies in International Magical Co-Operation. Maybe I'll try and get a job there, take an overseas posting, get away for a bit. Maybe I'll to America to visit Stephen and Mandy, see how they're going-'

Anthony picked up his Muggle Studies textbook.

'-And maybe you should study for your N.E.W.T.s, because they're tomorrow.'

Lisa smiled wanly.

'It's...it's good to know that some things haven't changed. You haven't, for sure.'

Anthony smiled a sad little smile.

'I wish I hadn't...but I have...'

* * *

Once upon a time, they'd never have had this conversation.

Studious, awkward Anthony Goldstein would never have had a long, serious, intellectual conversation with giggly, girly not-a-proper-Ravenclaw Lisa Turpin.

Anthony wouldn't have been able to talk to her about feelings or emotions or try to comfort her.

Lisa wouldn't have cared to think about something so supposedly deep. She'd only have cared about learning the gossip, learning about the people around her.

But everything's different now.

Lisa knows that studious, awkward Anthony is stronger and braver than she ever imagined.

Anthony knows that giggly, girly Lisa is cleverer and more intellectual than he ever thought possible.

They've been through a War.

And they have changed.


End file.
